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Full thread title: q brainrot [Higher Level Edition] [Aka IDK what to title this] [Aka I have no plans for this I'm just gonna freestyle it again] [Aka is this thread title too long?]
(Any and all of this thread are jokes)
If you haven't read the previous post, don't worry, you'll probably be JUST as confused as the people who DID, but if you wanna read it, here it is:
https://hypixel.net/threads/ranking...t-aka-consuming-red-40.5878287/#post-40769678
Man, I can't believe that Walter's really dead.
"Yeah, me neither q, me neither. He was a good man, we both knew em well. Why don't ya' go up and give a eulogy?"
Ehhhhh, I don't know. I don't have anything prepared per se.
"No, no, q, cmon, take the mic, you'll do fine. You knew him for the better part of a decade, you've got this."
Uhhh, hello my fellow friends and compatriots. And Mike.
Jeez stop ****ing staring at me like that. This is EXACTLY why I didn't include you under the 'friends' category- I'm getting off topic.
Ahem, right, we're gathered here today to discuss the death of one man. A great man, Walter White.
he was a highschool teacher and uh...
Okay I'm gonna be honest I'm NOT AT ALL prepared for this, I mean, he's dead. So what, big whoop. He never got me my yellow 6, he kinda sucks
"What."
Yeah, Walt was in the dye business. He killed tons of people I don't care, Hank you forced me to show up.
Woah, woah, what're you DOING BRO DON'T GRAB WALT'S CORPSE??!?!?
"THIS DIRTY BASTARD! I TRUSTED HIM!"
"Wait a second, how did you know Walt was in the dye business."
Funny story actually. It's too long to tell here, right, uh... I gotta leave actually.
"NO! GET BACK HERE YOU DEA TRAITOR!"
Ok guys I'm gonna level with you, no clue where I am. I'm somewhere in the middle of the desert, the reception is terrible here, and I think Hank's out to get me still.
This is my setup I'm so cooked
Ok, well, since I'm already down here, i guess I should reveal what's in my pockets.
FOOD DYEEEEEE!!!! IT'S TIME FOR PART 2
I actually got these dyes a little while ago, and wrote the stories about how I got them then, (In the month between my last thread and this one), but right when I was gonna make the post, Hank kicked my door down and I had to shove them all in my pockets and attend Walt's funeral. Soooo, I never actually had time to rank them by consuming them, just getting them, so you'll get to see the flashbacks. Anyways: let's get RANKING!
Alright chat, so the first dye we're gonna start with is called "Violet 1".
Now, what is violet 1?
Violet 1 is a purple / violet food dye color (who could've guessed??) and is part of the triphenylmethane dye family, and if that sounds pretentious, that's because it is.
Basically, triphenylmethane are little pricks who decide they want THREE benzene rings attached to their carbon because they're SO MUCH BETTER than the other dyes, and they flex their superiority through an offensively intense, BLINDING color.
Because of their ****ass nature of having 3 BENZENES, our body hates consuming them, which is good because like... it's basically fiber, right? Eh? Eh?
So anyways, it was banned in 1973 for "giving rats tumors" or whatever that is. Personally, I interpret this as: it gave rats superpowers (look at Deadpool). So the FDA is really just a buzzkill.
Anyways: The point.
How do I even get my hands on this if it's been banned for like, 52 years??
Great question, ever since the whole 'Yellow 6 incident', I ended up trying to advance my connections. Can't just make a sequel with NO new dyes, right?
I broke into a 1950s mint factory.
Here's a cool selfie I took^^^
So now I have this barrel:
[Back to Present]
So how should I eat this? I extracted them into a dust, which I have, but like, I don't have a kitchen here-
What the **** this wasn't here 30 second ago???
...
WELCOME TO Q'S COOKING SHOW!!!!!!
wait wtf this isn't even the same kitchen... it doesn't matter. Okay, today we're going to be cooking up Violet 1
This is a nice delicacy from... an abandoned factory... okay cooking show cooking show... uh... how do I do this.
right: I am going to make a triple-caramelized heirloom cactus reduction infused with sun-dried desert lichen, delicately dusted with Violet 1 ash harvested from a 1950s mint barrel, and served atop a hand-foraged salt flat crisp. Plated with a microfoam of fermented yucca nectar and garnished with shattered quartz for texture-
WAIT NO GET AWAY
Okay. The rat ate it. Okay. Okay okay okay. I have a solution.
KILL THE RAT
Okay. I can salvage this. I just need to... uh, cut to commercial.
OK CHAT, WE'RE BACKKKKK!!! AND i HAVE THE DELICACY RIGHT HERE!
Alright, let's DIG IN!!!!!
This is ****ing disgusting. j tier. Never eating Violet 1 again. I can hear things, weird things, I think the rat's ghost told me to short gamestop stock...? I... don't know man
Ahem, Ahem, now let's think about what's the next dye I can consume. Let me just... dig through my pockets for a second
Ahhh, here we go, Sudan Dyes... this is a callback to the azo dye family, if you've seen my last post you'll remember that made my arms fall off. But this time, I'm fairly sure thing'sll go slightly better.
Them being a part of the azo dye family means they contain one or more 'azo groups' which means they have a nitrogen double bond into a hydrocarbon chain. Not sure what that means, but I like it. Sounds rustic. Now, let's go back to where this all started...
Ok am I losing it or does this one literally just say paprika. What store am I even in...?
Oh. Okay. Well, that makes sense. I guess. Uh, hey, you, can you help me?
(Play this song while proceding)
"Who? me?"
Yeah, you, you work here, right?
"i'm literally wearing a suit and tie why do you think i work here."
you look like you would.
"Ouch. You're saying you haven't heard of the greatest psychic of the 21st century reigen arataka?-"
Listen man, I'm tired, I need to consume Sudan Dye. I'll give you... 37 dollars if you just tell me.
"Okay! I'll do it. AHEM AHEM, RIGHT, this paprika that you are holding is not only the highest quality, GREAT for seasoning chicken-"
i don't care about its quality, does it have carcinogenic dye in it? I need dye.
"...Yes?"
I'll take it, here take my money
[BACK TO PRESENT]
So yeah, weird ass walmart employee sold it to me. I just walked right out after that exchange. That's not stealing right, cuz he worked there? yeah. it's not stealing. Whatever, uhhhhh, let's rank it, by putting it on some chicken (don't ask where I got the chicken, it just appears in my pockets nowadays. I'm concerned too).
Unfortunately, the stove broke during that whole 'cooking with q' bit, so I'm just gonna have to eat it uncooked. According to pseudo's science, I'll be healthier after this.
HOLY **** THIS IS AMAZING i CAN TASTE SOUND
SUDAN DYES, INSTANT Q TIER. PEAK, I CAN'T STOP SCREAMING. THIS ISN'T A JOKE, MY HEAD HURTS, MY EARS ARE RINGING, SEND AN AMBULANCE.
"I HEAR YOU DOWN THERE, GET ON OUT OF THERE!!!"
OH **** HANK FOUND ME
"Come on q, get out here, we can do this the easy way."
Uhhh, no? I wanna stay down here, oh hey my voice fixed.
What was that??
Hank?...
Hankkkk??? You there???
"It's safe to come out now q."
Mike??
"no, I'm not Mike."
What?
"It's me. Walt. I killed Mike in our little fight a few days ago, and assumed his identity so I could replace him in the Dye Business."
That sounds.... uneccessarily complicated.
"I had to keep my promise, to get you your yellow 6."
"Add a little sodium nitrate to that solution, it'll dissolve directly into Yellow 6."
Oh... why did you... why did you do that? That's... stupid.
"makes it easier to smuggle. Also, Jesse's here, say hi jesse"
"HIIIIII"
Uh, okay, hello Jesse.
well, then... Uh. I'm just gonna, eat this... yellow 6... so I can properly rank it... yknow?
"Wait q stop it's explosive in this form!"
"Damnit Jesse, I don't want to go to this prick's funeral"
"Yo, Mr White, maybe just steal his identity too. That might be easier"
"JESSE! YOU'RE A ****ING GENIUS"
Did I just kill myself off in my own thread series??
(Any and all of this thread are jokes)
If you haven't read the previous post, don't worry, you'll probably be JUST as confused as the people who DID, but if you wanna read it, here it is:
https://hypixel.net/threads/ranking...t-aka-consuming-red-40.5878287/#post-40769678
Man, I can't believe that Walter's really dead.
"Yeah, me neither q, me neither. He was a good man, we both knew em well. Why don't ya' go up and give a eulogy?"
Ehhhhh, I don't know. I don't have anything prepared per se.
"No, no, q, cmon, take the mic, you'll do fine. You knew him for the better part of a decade, you've got this."
Uhhh, hello my fellow friends and compatriots. And Mike.
Jeez stop ****ing staring at me like that. This is EXACTLY why I didn't include you under the 'friends' category- I'm getting off topic.
Ahem, right, we're gathered here today to discuss the death of one man. A great man, Walter White.
he was a highschool teacher and uh...
Okay I'm gonna be honest I'm NOT AT ALL prepared for this, I mean, he's dead. So what, big whoop. He never got me my yellow 6, he kinda sucks
"What."
Yeah, Walt was in the dye business. He killed tons of people I don't care, Hank you forced me to show up.
Woah, woah, what're you DOING BRO DON'T GRAB WALT'S CORPSE??!?!?
"THIS DIRTY BASTARD! I TRUSTED HIM!"
"Wait a second, how did you know Walt was in the dye business."
Funny story actually. It's too long to tell here, right, uh... I gotta leave actually.
"NO! GET BACK HERE YOU DEA TRAITOR!"
Ok guys I'm gonna level with you, no clue where I am. I'm somewhere in the middle of the desert, the reception is terrible here, and I think Hank's out to get me still.
This is my setup I'm so cooked
Ok, well, since I'm already down here, i guess I should reveal what's in my pockets.
FOOD DYEEEEEE!!!! IT'S TIME FOR PART 2
I actually got these dyes a little while ago, and wrote the stories about how I got them then, (In the month between my last thread and this one), but right when I was gonna make the post, Hank kicked my door down and I had to shove them all in my pockets and attend Walt's funeral. Soooo, I never actually had time to rank them by consuming them, just getting them, so you'll get to see the flashbacks. Anyways: let's get RANKING!
Alright chat, so the first dye we're gonna start with is called "Violet 1".
Now, what is violet 1?
Violet 1 is a purple / violet food dye color (who could've guessed??) and is part of the triphenylmethane dye family, and if that sounds pretentious, that's because it is.
Basically, triphenylmethane are little pricks who decide they want THREE benzene rings attached to their carbon because they're SO MUCH BETTER than the other dyes, and they flex their superiority through an offensively intense, BLINDING color.
Because of their ****ass nature of having 3 BENZENES, our body hates consuming them, which is good because like... it's basically fiber, right? Eh? Eh?
So anyways, it was banned in 1973 for "giving rats tumors" or whatever that is. Personally, I interpret this as: it gave rats superpowers (look at Deadpool). So the FDA is really just a buzzkill.
Anyways: The point.
How do I even get my hands on this if it's been banned for like, 52 years??
Great question, ever since the whole 'Yellow 6 incident', I ended up trying to advance my connections. Can't just make a sequel with NO new dyes, right?
I broke into a 1950s mint factory.
Here's a cool selfie I took^^^
So now I have this barrel:
[Back to Present]
So how should I eat this? I extracted them into a dust, which I have, but like, I don't have a kitchen here-
What the **** this wasn't here 30 second ago???
...
WELCOME TO Q'S COOKING SHOW!!!!!!
wait wtf this isn't even the same kitchen... it doesn't matter. Okay, today we're going to be cooking up Violet 1
This is a nice delicacy from... an abandoned factory... okay cooking show cooking show... uh... how do I do this.
right: I am going to make a triple-caramelized heirloom cactus reduction infused with sun-dried desert lichen, delicately dusted with Violet 1 ash harvested from a 1950s mint barrel, and served atop a hand-foraged salt flat crisp. Plated with a microfoam of fermented yucca nectar and garnished with shattered quartz for texture-
WAIT NO GET AWAY
Okay. The rat ate it. Okay. Okay okay okay. I have a solution.
KILL THE RAT
Okay. I can salvage this. I just need to... uh, cut to commercial.
OK CHAT, WE'RE BACKKKKK!!! AND i HAVE THE DELICACY RIGHT HERE!
Alright, let's DIG IN!!!!!
This is ****ing disgusting. j tier. Never eating Violet 1 again. I can hear things, weird things, I think the rat's ghost told me to short gamestop stock...? I... don't know man
Ahem, Ahem, now let's think about what's the next dye I can consume. Let me just... dig through my pockets for a second
Ahhh, here we go, Sudan Dyes... this is a callback to the azo dye family, if you've seen my last post you'll remember that made my arms fall off. But this time, I'm fairly sure thing'sll go slightly better.
Them being a part of the azo dye family means they contain one or more 'azo groups' which means they have a nitrogen double bond into a hydrocarbon chain. Not sure what that means, but I like it. Sounds rustic. Now, let's go back to where this all started...
Ok am I losing it or does this one literally just say paprika. What store am I even in...?
Oh. Okay. Well, that makes sense. I guess. Uh, hey, you, can you help me?
(Play this song while proceding)
"Who? me?"
Yeah, you, you work here, right?
"i'm literally wearing a suit and tie why do you think i work here."
you look like you would.
"Ouch. You're saying you haven't heard of the greatest psychic of the 21st century reigen arataka?-"
Listen man, I'm tired, I need to consume Sudan Dye. I'll give you... 37 dollars if you just tell me.
"Okay! I'll do it. AHEM AHEM, RIGHT, this paprika that you are holding is not only the highest quality, GREAT for seasoning chicken-"
i don't care about its quality, does it have carcinogenic dye in it? I need dye.
"...Yes?"
I'll take it, here take my money
[BACK TO PRESENT]
So yeah, weird ass walmart employee sold it to me. I just walked right out after that exchange. That's not stealing right, cuz he worked there? yeah. it's not stealing. Whatever, uhhhhh, let's rank it, by putting it on some chicken (don't ask where I got the chicken, it just appears in my pockets nowadays. I'm concerned too).
Unfortunately, the stove broke during that whole 'cooking with q' bit, so I'm just gonna have to eat it uncooked. According to pseudo's science, I'll be healthier after this.
HOLY **** THIS IS AMAZING i CAN TASTE SOUND
SUDAN DYES, INSTANT Q TIER. PEAK, I CAN'T STOP SCREAMING. THIS ISN'T A JOKE, MY HEAD HURTS, MY EARS ARE RINGING, SEND AN AMBULANCE.
"I HEAR YOU DOWN THERE, GET ON OUT OF THERE!!!"
OH **** HANK FOUND ME
"Come on q, get out here, we can do this the easy way."
Uhhh, no? I wanna stay down here, oh hey my voice fixed.
What was that??
Hank?...
Hankkkk??? You there???
"It's safe to come out now q."
Mike??
"no, I'm not Mike."
What?
"It's me. Walt. I killed Mike in our little fight a few days ago, and assumed his identity so I could replace him in the Dye Business."
That sounds.... uneccessarily complicated.
"I had to keep my promise, to get you your yellow 6."
"Add a little sodium nitrate to that solution, it'll dissolve directly into Yellow 6."
Oh... why did you... why did you do that? That's... stupid.
"makes it easier to smuggle. Also, Jesse's here, say hi jesse"
"HIIIIII"
Uh, okay, hello Jesse.
well, then... Uh. I'm just gonna, eat this... yellow 6... so I can properly rank it... yknow?
"Wait q stop it's explosive in this form!"
"Damnit Jesse, I don't want to go to this prick's funeral"
"Yo, Mr White, maybe just steal his identity too. That might be easier"
"JESSE! YOU'RE A ****ING GENIUS"
Did I just kill myself off in my own thread series??
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